THIS JUST IN.....

Where ever news happens http://www.newsbreakers.org/ are there to FUCK it all up.

Now this is REAL liberal media at work!

Let freedom and rubber masks ring BABY!

If Republicans get their way....

Shit floats, cream curdles.

I’ve worked for large corporations for a very long time. I mean, a VERY long time (shoot me.) There are a couple of lessons I’ve learned. Lesson # 1 all major corporations should have a big sign at the entrance of their building saying “SUSPEND ALL REALITY YE WHO ENTER.” Lesson # 2, shit floats to the top.

I heard my first corporate lie when I was 17. Ironically, at about the same time I encountered my first corporate “chuck common sense out the window” act of stupidity. When I was 16 I started working as a stock boy for a locally owned chain of department stores. A year later the same company who, at the time, owned K-Mart and other chains bought out this Mom and Pop department store chain. Immediately, the employees and customers in my little town were in a tizzy. This store had been a staple in our community for decades. This is where kids got their first jobs, girls bought prom dresses and little old ladies didn’t have to drive to the city to find decent, affordable clothing. This store also employed several women who needed their job to supplement their already tight incomes. What were we to do? I worries were put to ease when someone from the corporate head quarters flew to tell us we weren’t closing. “Why would we close this store?” he said. “You’re the biggest money maker in the region!” We all breathed a collective sigh of relief. Three months later the store was closed.

I was part of the clean up crew to prepare the store for the new owners. A new home and garden store was moving into our space. It was going to be all 2 x 4’s, picnic tables, and lawnmowers from now on. As I was moving some of the clothing racks onto the company moving truck, my boss asked to do him a favor. Well, it’s not really a favor if you’re getting paid, now is it? He asked if I would vacuum all the carpets in the store before the end of the day. Remember, there is a home and garden store moving in. Tall iron racks and CEMENT FLOORS! They were going to tear up the carpet the next day! “Why am I doing this?” I snapped. What the hell? It was my last day, what do I have to lose? His explanation to me was, “So “we” can make a good impression on the new tenants.” Ok, everyone who thinks this makes no sense raise his or her hands. It didn’t make any sense to me and I was a dumb teenager at the time. But looking back, little did I know this was preparing me for the long stupid journey that lay ahead.

It still amazes me looking back how much stupidity, hypocrisy, and down right things that make you go “What the fuck!?” exists in the American workplace. Larger corporations are riddled with this kind of moronic behavior and the morons who perpetrate it!

One of the more ridiculous acts involved an old co-worker of mine who had to create a PowerPoint presentation to outlining to his boss what it was that he did for the company. This was a man when I worked with him was there by 8am and didn’t leave until his work was done for the day. That day sometimes ended at 3am. Now the boss had no doubt in his mind what the guy who sat next to my friend did for the company. Why? Because he spent most of his time generating paperwork outlining what he did or shall we say didn’t do for that day; then would forward a copy of that report to his boss and the end of the workweek. Needless to say, that guy is now my buddy’s boss.

Now in the past (and present) I have had bosses who had such a grasp of corporate lingo that it flowed from the tongues like honey; but at the same time dumped a load of bullshit onto those of us who they were saying it to.

One boss was like a traffic cop; to answer any question I had for her she would point me toward one person or another away from her office fro the answer. In the business world this is called “delegation.”

Another boss of mine told me one day that I was talking too much. So I shut up and continued on with my work. A few minutes later he came over to me and asked “Why are you so quiet?”

I actually had one boss sit me down to talk about my negative attitude because I used the word “no”. He told me I needed to learn to say “no” without really saying “no.” “How would I do that?” I asked. He began to throw phrases at me like, “I’ll see what I can do.” “I’ll try to get to it today.” Or my personal favorite “My time is restricted right now. But I’ll look it over and get back to you.” Could someone pinpoint for me when the word “no” became so devastating to people that we had to replace it?

I asked another boss a question, which she SHOULD have had the answer. Her response to me was, “I’m clueless.” And proceeded to snap her gum and surf the web.

These just a few examples of the shit I’m talking about that floats to the top. It’s like a grown up version of high school. They’re like that one bad kid teachers promote right up through grades 1, 2, 3 and so on. Pass him (or her) along. Next year they’ll become someone else’s problem.

The cream I’m referring to are the smart people mired in all of this. The people who care about doing a good job, the people who care about making a good product, and the people whose spirits get trampled on the most. They are the people who do most of the work and receive little of the credit. They are the people who become old, bitter, and cynical before their time, who become apathetic to their situation, and who finally lose the fire they once had. The lucky ones get out and if they are very lucky find something they love to do. That’s IF they’re lucky. I’ve seen too many good people go from full of life to full of crap (or empty) in the blink of an eye. I pray one day they will be released from the prison they are in and find the freedom of expression they desire; a place where being smart is not considered a bad thing. Keep fighting, don’t give up, and don’t allow your soul to be sucked out by the fluorescent lights or stupidity.

My nightmare scenario...

I once had a job where for 2 days straight all I did was... point, click, wait, point, click, wait, point, click, wait, point, click, wait, point, click, wait, point, click, wait, point, click, wait, point, click, wait, point, click, wait, point, click, wait, point, click, wait, point, click, wait, point, click, wait, point, click, wait, point, click, wait, point, click, wait.

Now I know why some postal workers start to listen to the voices in their heads.

Telekinetic Monkeys and Other Party Favors.

As I was driving back from running errands yesterday I was listening to NPR (National Public Radio.) The Diane Rehm Show in particular, it’s a current events talk show out of Washington D.C. In the second half of the show they were speaking to a reporter for the Washington Post, Joel Garreau. Who had recently written a book called “Radical Evolution.” The book discusses things like the frontiers of genetic engineering, robotics, and nanotechnology. And asks the question whether these advances will change our comprehension of what it means to be human. Or what we understand to be human now.

One of the things he spoke of was DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency.) This is a branch of the DOD (Department of Defense) that comes up with laser cannons, jet packs, and mind control helmets. This is no joke. He began to tell the host of the show that the things we think don’t exist, do. Powers that you see in comic books do have already been created and are alive and kicking in some lab somewhere. The one story that I caught while in my car was one about a telekinetic macaque monkey named “Belle.” Now keep in mind NPR and PBS are the last bastions of legitimate broadcast news reporting in America. Some of this HAS to be true.

The story of Belle the Telekinetic Monkey starts at Duke University, where Belle was trained to play video games around using a joystick. Using positive re-enforcement (play the game, get some juice) they hooked Belle onto playing video games. Now here is where it gets a little “Planet of the Apes” like. After Belle was hooked to playing the games, she was fitted with tiny electrodes to her brain. Once that was done, she was set lose on the joystick. But the device was rendered inactive. The electrodes the scientists planted in Belle’s head were tuned into the game itself. Belle no longer needing positive re-enforcement just wanted to play the game. That’s where her head was at and she quickly discovered that’s what she had to use to play the game. Belle knew she wanted to play the game and the stick wasn’t working but because she desired to play so much she learned she could play with the controller. Belle the Telekinetic Monkey was playing the game just by thinking about it. Kind of scary, huh?

Mr. Garreau talks about these and other advancements from both sides of the coin. He calls them the “Heaven” and “Hell” scenarios. The Heaven side being these advancements helps mankind and progress us to a more utopian like society; a place where hunger, disease, crime, etc. are all things of the past. But then there’s Hell where computers see humans as obsolete, dinosaurs roam the earth again, and apes enslave all mankind. Jeff Goldblum had a great line in the first “Jurassic Park” movie that applies to all of this. Science is rushing around creating these things to see if they could, no one has stopped to ask if they should.

I say, take your time. As long as no giant 12 legged chipmunk or genetically altered cabbage is trying to eat me while I’m tooling around in my jetpack, I can wait.

Creativity in Chains.

I work and have worked with a lot of aspiring, frustrated, and closet artists. Musician, photographers, painters, writers, you name it. And the reason why these people are aspiring, frustrated, and closeted is because society (and government) does not support artists or art enough for people to make a living at it. This marks the beginning of the fall of western civilization. An environment where profit takes precedence of performance. Where cost effectiveness takes precedence over creativity. Imagination should be at the top of the endangered species list. Sure, like any oppressed movement there are a few holdouts. TV channels like IFC, Sundance, Trio, and Ovation. Publications like the New Yorker, Atlantic Monthly, American Poetry Review, and Lake Effect magazine (It’s good and it’s local, so I threw it in!) Ok, maybe there are more holdouts than I thought but that’s not the point. Today’s bible thumping, right wing spread, cast of a shadow of repression over any idea other than their own society views art as a wimp. A wimp that, “Yes, if you must indulge in it go ahead. We can’t stop you…yet. But don’t spend too long in there and get right back to church!” Most people today don’t understand there is a connection between progress of a society and progress in the Arts. The age of Pericles was also the age of Phidias. The age of Lorenzo de Medici was also the age of Leonardo Da Vinci. The age of Elizabeth was the age of Shakespeare (a quote from “The West Wing”.) The age of George W. Bush is the age of who or what? A boulder carved in the shape of the 10 Commandments? Europe and Japan are spending billions on the arts. The United States is barely spending millions. I ask you, who seems to have progressed more as a society? Culturally and technologically America hasn’t stepped forward, we’ve fallen back. Today’s American society has wrapped chains around creativity and inspiration. In turn those “threats to our moral fiber” have been replaced with old fashion ideals and stagnant thought.

The Arts were just the beginning. They'll be coming after Science next. Wait a minute…