Lesson Learned.

There’s scene in Priscilla Queen of the Desert where the drag queens in full frock and make up climb up King’s Canyon. Once at the top they look out over the Australian outback and the elder drag queen says, “It never ends does it? All that space.” After accomplishing what they set out to do the new queen of the trio asks, “What now?” To which the character Tic replies, “I think I want to go home.” After being out west for a bit I think I know how he feels.

It was a grand plan moving out there (the west that is.) I had chosen a beautiful location in a college town which I had visited a couple of times on vacation and loved it. I was determined to make it work! I had a plan and I was going to stick to it. But plans change, determination turns into worry and before you know you wonder if this was the right move. My answer to that is YES. Granted the plan didn’t work out quite the way I expected but it made me realize some things about myself. I needed this break to gain a new perspective on things that I’ve taken for granted, like my own city. Much like in Priscilla I guess I wasn’t taken in by all the space out here or the majesty of the landscape. If anything I was underwhelmed by it all. I understand the mountains are beautiful and there are LOADS of things to do outside. But there’s only so much sunshine a person can take! I found myself actually looking forward to overcast or rainy days so I wouldn’t feel so guilty about NOT wanting to go outside. I love those grey days where you find your favorite pub, sit, drink beers and enjoy the company of friends for the afternoon. You joke, you laugh, insult each other in a loving way….and that another thing! Sarcasm seemed to be lost out there! On more than one occasion I would make a sarcastic remark and I would be met with, “Dude, why are you so mean?” Everyone is SO freakin’ NICE! I’m not use to that! I mean, I’m sure it’s good for some people but it’s just not for me. Sometimes I felt like I was stuck in my own version of “The Stepford Wives.” I guess I need a place with a little more edge and a lot less laid backiness.

With all that being said I don’t fault the state or its people. As a matter of fact I met some great people out there and had some wonderful experiences (and beer.) In the end though it’s a nice place for me to visit (and I will again) but I shouldn’t live there. It’s just not for me. The one big thing I did learn was that you just can’t change the location if you’re hoping it will change who you are. You have to do that yourself. I thought I had changed and in the grand scheme of things I probably did change some but not enough. I found myself slipping into old habits that wished to avoid. The location wasn’t responsible for that I was. So if I was going to make this commitment of change why not do it in a place where I have friends, family, support and I feel the most comfortable. So I came back and I’m happy to be back in my city. I never realized how much this place has to offer or it inspires me. I’ve already begun to check off things I didn’t get a chance to do before I left. You truly don’t appreciate something until it’s gone and I have more of an appreciation now for the place I’m proud to call my home.