Babe, the Blue Ox...er...Car

I am not a car guy. I can count on one hand how many cars I’ve owned in my lifetime. I have driven each one into the ground, except for the last one whose fate was decided by another vehicle. Because of that incident a few Sundays ago I am now the owner of a brand spanking new car made in this century (that’s important) and it scares the hell out of me. My last car, “The Silver Bullet” had hand cranks for the windows, a tape deck in the radio and no cruise control. It wasn’t overly complicated or glamorous but it served its purpose like the three cars that preceded it. Not that this new car is a show piece by any means but when I get into the driver’s seat it’s like I’m the captain of a space shuttle mission. I have well over twenty buttons in front of me (only ten of which I can clearly indentify.) I have a CD player, external temperature gage, cruise control, an iPod jack, a lever to lower or raise my seat (to look down on other drivers of course), an alarm system, automatic windows and automatic door locks. My biggest fear is that I will set off the car alarm and not know how to shut it off. I still find myself reaching to lock the door when I get out forgetting that I have a button for that now. It was quite a comedy of errors last week when it snowed for a bit and I couldn’t figure out how the front windshield wipers worked. I did find out how to operate the back one though (oh yeah I have one of those too.) I know I will figure it all out eventually (hopefully before its seven thousand mile check) but for there are more important things to consider. What will I name the car?

I’m not really in the practice of naming my automobiles but it somehow came around with the Focus when it was dubbed, ‘The Silver Bullet.” Before that is was just the Saturn, the Cavalier, the Chevette. I tossed around a few names in my head, “Blue Beetle” (even though it’s not a VW bug), “Devil with a Blue Dress” (even though it’s not wearing a dress), “Blue Thunder” (could work) and “Ol’ Blue” (my favorite.) I ran some of these names passed a friend of mine and said none of those would stick. But he suggested “Babe.” Not “that’ll do pig” Babe but Paul Bunyan and his blue ox “Babe.” I took step and I liked it. I could picture if I mounted a pair of long horns on the front how it could look very ox-like. Now with that out of the way I just need to figure out how to open the gas tank.