Christmas Tree of TERROR!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

What would Rudolph do if his nose blew out? (No pun intended. Ok, maybe a little pun.)

Ho, ho...WHATEVER!

Given the chain of events that has been happening to me lately is getting heavier and heavier. I'm struggling to find that Christmas spirit this year.

Sinking feeling....

Did ya ever feel a bit bogged down by the holidays?

Catching Up: Part 4….The Journey Home.

After the lights went out the BF and I sat there in the dark restaurant with false hope that the lights would come back on in time for us to get our food. The wait staff quickly brought out candles and soon The Golden Griddle took on a cartoon like creepiness, as if we were in an episode of Scooby Doo. We asked our waitress if she had any idea why the lights went out. Like a couple of campers out on an over night, we gathered around her candle to hear this mysterious tale. Apparently there had been a electrical fire down the street and as a precaution the fire department shut the power within a four block radius. Luckily our hotel was just outside that circle. As much fun as sitting around in the dark with a bunch of strangers was the BF and I decided to head back to the Delta Chelsea. But we were still hunger. On the way back to the hotel we ran into the Canadian version of a hotdog vendor. This means the hotdogs are of various lengths, flavors and the vendor REALLY tries to push the condiments. Don’t ask me why. We finally made it back to our room after exploring several floors of the hotel and the pool area. At three-thirty AM we collapsed with our bellies full, our head’s spinning and a waste basket within arms reach.

The next morning we awoke to our last day in Toronto, packed our bags, and took one last tour around Queen Street before heading off to the ferry. When we got to the ferry terminal it was the usual cattle shuffle to get into the passenger holding area. Once we were in we sat down and waited to be loaded onto the ship. We honestly did feel like a couple of steers heading off to market. As a looked around the room, I simply couldn’t imagine why people all over the world thought Americans were fat and lazy. Especially when I noticed the ton –o-woman off to my left gnawing on a Clark bar and dribbling her “diet” Fresca down the front of her very large shirt. After about 20 minutes an automated announcement came over the load speaker. The slightly cheerful voice let us know there has been a little delay in departure time (at the most 15 minutes) do to some minor repairs that need to be made on the ferry. This hardly raised an eyebrow among the passengers. What were a couple minutes? We’d still make it home at a reasonable time. When the fourth automated announcement came on the human bovines were ready to stampede the gates.

After the failure of the fifth automated voice message to calm the masses; a brave little man with skinny legs and a scraggly beard stepped out in the middle of the crowd, hopped up on a chair, and raised his arms. He started off quietly with a couple of “Ladies and Gentlemen” but soon exploded into “EXCUSE ME!” He proceeded to tell us that wind shears had blown out 3 or 4 windows on the ship and the repair crew was waiting for supplies from Home Depot to make the repairs. Ok…. it’s not a very comforting thought to think that wind shears on Lake Ontario are so strong they could blow out a few windows on the ferry. It’s an even less comforting thought our return trip to the states is being held up because we’re waiting for the delivery boy from Home Depot. The estimated time of arrival of the lumber, screws, nails, hammers, and various building supplies was about forty-five minutes. Add to that, fifteen minutes to repair the broken windows and another 20 minutes to load all the people onto the ship. This didn’t sit well with the crowd. They began to look at the little man the same way cannibals would look at Rosanne. He quickly created a diversion to make his get away. Come to find out later the wind shears did not cause the windows to be blown out. Apparently, it was do to the poor driving skills of the captain who seems to have difficulty parallel parking a ship that size. He ran the ferry into the gang plank, in turn taking the windows in the process. At this point the BF and I were considering walking back to the states. All in all the repairs took about an hour and soon we were all gathering our things to board the ferry.

Now, before I continue I need to interject a little bit of information about my BF that will be critical to the next paragraph. My BF hates to stand in line for anything. He has gone as far to say “Lines don’t really apply to me.”

I tapped my BF to let him know we were finally getting ready to board the ferry to go home. He doesn’t hear things when he’s reading or watching commercials. He gets so engrossed in both. Anyway, BF put his book away, bundled up his backpack, and darted off toward the door down the narrow space between the short fused crowd and the wall. I chased him down the narrow aisle very much the same way a mother runs after an out of control five year old in the mall. With my arm stretched out I was hoping to grab the back of his shirt to stop him before we were by the mobbed the by crowded of agitated people we just passed. Yelling, “Honey! HONEY!” as I ran behind him. Finally, he stopped just short of the exit behind a bunch of people who had formed a wall in front of the door. I looked at him with blazing eyes and said, “What are you doing?” My BF actually looked surprised I was upset and said, “What?” The snide remarks started coming from the couple behind us soon after I made my choice of not smother the BF with my shoulder bag. “Nice budging!” “Why wait in line?” “We’ve only been waiting an hour.” Were some of things we heard from the man and woman behind us. These two were just adding gas to bonfire that was building up inside of me. I didn’t need this! My BF didn’t help matters any when he turned to me and said, “Just ignore them.” JUST IGNORE THEM!? He’s the one who couldn’t wait for his turn in line behind 200 other people and he tells me to ignore them! At that point, I was seriously considering joining them! Fed up! I sarcastically gestured for Mr. & Mrs. Big Mouth to move a head of us. They sheepishly declined, murmuring some lame excuse about wanting to get seat on the trip home.

They soon opened the doors to the pier (none too soon I might add.) We were herded down the dock, up the loading ramp, through the car hold, and up to the passenger deck of the ferry. Pretty much all the passengers took a good look at the three large pieces of plywood that were bolted in place where the three windows once stood. The crew tried to make us as comfortable as possible on our return trip. They offered everyone free food and screened a family friendly film on all the monitors. Aside from one demon child in the booth next to us and the crew asking passengers not to take so much because they were running out about half way into the voyage; the trip back was uneventful. We docked home about 10:30pm, tired but glad to be home. We quickly made our way through Customs with only one curious look from the border guard when we told him we had $375 of materials to claim. We were only gone overnight. The BF and I hopped in our car and drove. We had a tremendous adventure and we would do it all over again in a Toronto minute.

Snowmen can't do push-ups.