Utter Confusion.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, cats and dogs....

I started a new job today. Normally, anyone who has been out of work or bouncing around from temp job to temp job would be happy to find steady work for reasonable pay. So why don't I feel that sort of joy? Why aren't I breathing a big * sigh* of relief? Because I'm 37, college educated, and smart as hell. Call it a mid-life crisis, call it being unappreciated, call it whatever you want. But the fact is, I need more. Or at least at this time in my life I thought I would be more. But hind sight is 20/20. Now I face that cross road that most of my friends seem to be facing. What do I do now!?

It's funny even at my age I'm still faced with the question, "What do I want to be when grow up?" I have a few ideas but my maturity gets in the way of executing them. I no longer have the option of that kind of fearless ambition I had when I was younger. Now I seem to worry about the fall rather than how high the cliff is.

But one of these days I think I'm going to close my eyes and take that leap. And pray that I land on my feet.